Arondaho Speaks II
“Isness” and the Illusion of Control
(Channeled by Steve Ryals)
(The “Conversation” below is between Steve and the entity (Arondaho) who introduced
“Him”self as a collective of energies that, He suggested, might be best understood
as Steve’s “Higher Self.” It is reproduced here with the Blessing and permission of
Steve’s widow, JoAnn SkyWatcher, who is certain that Steve gives his consent too.)
…
Steve: So my higher self is what makes me magnificent? No matter how many mistakes I make, or how many people I hurt, my higher self never changes, never grows tired of me, or angry, or abandons me in disgust?
Arondaho: Never. It is with you right now. Actually, you and your higher self are not separate at all. As Buddha said, “You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.”
Steve: I don’t feel very magnificent.
Arondaho: That’s because of the fear based stories you have been telling yourself since you were small, the ones you made up to explain the world.
Steve: “But without stories of how the world works, nothing would make sense.”
Arondaho: Please do not confuse the need for context with a need for particular stories. Context creates a container of meaning out of the incomprehensible infinity of the multi-verse. A growing number of physicists are convinced that the universe – namely space, with all the matter and energy it contains—does not even begin to encompass the whole of reality. According to quantum theory, the deepest theory known to physics—our universe is only a tiny facet of a larger multiverse, a highly structured continuum containing many universes.
Understanding how that container called context distills a tiny piece of the “isness” of the multiverse into your experience is a fundamental aspect of growth and healing. We define “isness” as how the world actually is, as opposed to how your stories of fear and lack (what some call scarcity consciousness) tell you it is.
For example, many people are taught that the world is a cold, cruel place filled with implacable forces of evil. In addition, this story insists that most people are out to take advantage of you, so you must be constantly on guard. Trust is for fools. These are all stories that people mistake for the truth. Those lost in fear predictably act in ways that seem to make them safer, even when such actions come at the expense of other people’s safety.
None of these stories makes the world an evil place, though it can certainly seem that way. When hurricanes howl, or earthquakes rumble and shake, devastation is the inevitable result. Many people experience great suffering. Still, such events don’t make the world evil.
As you raise your consciousness you become able to make decisions based more on the “isness” of the situation rather than on your fear based stories. Perhaps you’ll choose not to live in an area prone to severe earthquakes, or at least, you’ll chose to live in an earthquake resistant structure at least a little distance from known fault lines. You might choose not to settle in coastal areas where hurricanes can cause devastation. The world will seem less chaotic to you as your ability to become present to the “isness” grows, for it is only in the now moment that true discernment is possible.
For now, let us examine how your stories came to run your life. Early on, someone, perhaps your mother or father, maybe a sibling or a friend, failed to behave according to your expectations. You were no doubt surprised, even shocked, and then you became disappointed, even angry. You expressed your anger with your whole body. This is commonly called having a tantrum. While you’ve been taught that throwing a tantrum is self-indulgent, the truth is that it also feels really great! For a little while, you get to prove, at least to yourself, that you are the center of the universe, and your issue is the only one that matters!
For example, one of life’s guilty pleasures is having bouts of indignant rage. It’s an intense adrenaline rush, and for many people, the immediate result appears worth the consequences of the tantrum. Maybe that’s why you continue having explosions of rage throughout your life, often at a great cost to any opportunities for intimacy.
Steve: I’m offended by that! I pride myself on my self control. I despise people who fly into a rage at the slightest provocation.
Arondaho: If you believe that, you are simply fooling yourself. We certainly meant no offense when we pointed out that you engage in these kinds of emotional outbursts. Please, take a few deep breaths and remember that we are on your side.
Steve: Okay, I apologize for getting testy. I kind of surprised myself.
Arondaho: No worries. Let’s get back to our discussion. After you had experienced a series of these angry episodes, your illusion of control over the situation vanished. You felt powerless. You began to realize that your expectations about other people and the circumstances of the world around you do not translate into control over those people or circumstances. Your becoming enraged triggered another’s rage against you resulting in further physical and emotional wounding. It is only when you see this cycle that you can finally begin to understand the process that results in such outbursts.
Steve: Wow, that sounds uncomfortably similar to something right out of my own childhood.
Arondaho: Of course it does. We’re your higher self, remember? We were there. In any event, it didn’t take too long to figure out that expressing rage was not working to fill your desires. And you began casting about for other strategies. At this point you started school, and began acquiring a larger pool of experientially-based knowledge. Surely, you thought, this is the answer! If you could just learn enough about how people and the world worked, you would at least be able to predict behavior, even outcomes. That would be almost as good as control, wouldn’t it?
That became the paradigm. Trust only what you’ve learned through direct experience and education as the foundation for what is real. Whatever you do, never rely on anything other than your five senses. The rest is untrustworthy, as it has not been proven effective in controlling your world. You’ve already gotten in trouble by relying on your intuition. Using direct experience is a rational, linear approach to the issue of how to determine beliefs that are both safe and effective.
So, can you think of some stories you’ve created that help you discount or even ignore your intuition in order to live in a rational world
Steve: That feels like a loaded question. I’m not sure how to answer that.
Arondaho: We are not trying to set you up, if that’s your concern. Still, it remains a vital question. You see, until you take on the question of what you truly believe, you can never get to know how you came to believe it. It’s crucial to thoroughly grasp both the what and how of your belief structures before you can realistically make conscious changes. Most belief systems are not open to self-inquiry, and that is where they limit themselves. In any case, the question still stands; does a rational, linear, reductionist approach to life seem to be working for you?
Steve: As far as I’m concerned my life works just fine, at least in certain areas. I have to admit, though, that neither my personal experience nor my education served me in all situations, especially around my intimate relationships. However, I’m not ready to abandon my rational world and suddenly start relying on my feelings as a guide to every situation. After all, wouldn’t that leave me open to the manipulation of anyone who wanted to control me?
Arondaho: That certainly is the fear that runs you. This is essentially what you have been doing your whole life, though you denied the validity of any feelings originating beyond your five senses. While relying on intuition and feelings without using discernment definitely leaves you open to manipulation, why would you ever consciously turn over control of your feelings to anyone else?
That’s certainly not what we are suggesting. Nor are we saying you should rely on your feelings as your only guide. Your feelings and discernment are two very different forms of perception. They are both essential elements of your being, though many people confuse them and think they have to choose one or the other.
Feelings are your natural emotional responses to the “isness” of your life, which we define as whatever events and circumstances are experienced before you assign them meaning. Events happen. Circumstances are what they are. This is the “isness.” How and what you feel about these events and circumstances determines your reactions to them.
From your earliest moments, your family and society conditioned you to react in specific ways to the “isness” of the moment, including when to be happy, when to be sad, when to be angry, and especially when to be silent. While there are powerful, potent emotions that arise out of the millions of years of evolution, most of the feelings that you experience (or, more likely, repress) are rooted in the stories you believe about yourself and the world.
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Editor’s note: Please see Drunk with Wonder: Awakening to the God Within for the complete “Conversation with Spirit” between Steve and Arondaho.