Spirit in Business V

Is Your Couples Relationship Blocking Your Career Success?
Elizabeth Tobin

If you’re a spiritual entrepreneur  interested in bringing more of your core values into your work, or creating a heart-centered business that is aligned with spirit, sometimes looking for a direct “cause and effect” between your efforts and your results may not work. Instead, taking a holistic approach to your business may be a better approach.

This means paying attention to the state of your vibration and healing those areas of your life that are causing you stress and lowering your vibration – even if they seem to have nothing to do with your business.

For example, it’s no secret that problems at home can affect every other area of your life, including your work. Stress is stress – and no matter the source of your stress – it has the capacity to lower your vibration. When you feel irritable, preoccupied, angry or afraid you’re not in a very magnetic state to attract new clients, land that big account, or even find the competent administrative help you need to run your business.

Let’s face it. If things ain’t right at home they ain’t right anywhere. And the fact remains that unless you address your relationship issues, your work problems will likely persist. So if you’re feeling blocked in your work and you can’t seem to find the source, try looking to your home life and your intimate relationships.

You may be surprised to learn that hidden generational and family patterns and societal imprints around marriage and intimate relationships may be the root cause.

Here’s what I mean: Let’s look at how these patterns can play out in a couple’s relationship and affect one or both of the partner’s work. I’ll use my own story as an example.

I come from a long line of housewives, on both sides of my family. The family pattern was that the men were the primary breadwinners and the women didn’t work outside of the home. If the woman did get a job, she waited until the kids were in school. And her job wasn’t her life’s mission; it helped supplement the family income or gave her something to do while the kids were in school. That’s my parents’ generation going backwards.

Now in my generation we’re in the age of the 2 income family, so now some of the women in my family do have jobs. But if they are married they are still not the primary breadwinner. And their work isn’t their life’s purpose.

That’s the generational and family pattern part of the equation. But there are also the societal norms and imprints around couples relationships that you need to take into account.

It’s a cultural norm that generally married women aren’t the primary breadwinner. And it’s still not 100% socially acceptable for husband to not work while the woman does, unless they have kids. Then it’s kind of ok if the husband is a stay at home dad, taking care of the kids.

Here’ my story:

I’ve got the double whammy of my own Family Patterns around women and work, and the patterns of the society in which I grew up that are also influencing me around what’s acceptable for married women who work.

When I got married I married a guy who was an artist, musician, poet, shaman, medium and trance channel. He also did carpentry as his day job. But he struggled greatly with making his way in this 3D world.

For the first half of our marriage, it seemed that we would trade off – I’d have a steady job and his work would be sporadic, or I’d be out of work and he’d take over being the bread winner for awhile. We got along financially, but not without some struggle.

Then once I started to doing Resonance Repatterning® full-time back in 2001, and making a steady living at it, it seemed that his work and life purpose struggles really intensified.

So, I’m out in the world trying to build my business and get my work out there and I’m rubbing up against my family patterns that that make me feel that it’s not ok for me to have a successful business and a life purpose that goes beyond raising a family.

As you can imagine this affected my relationship with my husband and caused me to feel resentful to the point where I began to question my marriage.

It also affected my relationship with my work. I can remember when I first started working with Resonance Repatterning clients professionally. I’d give them a great session and then afterward I’d feel really yucky – guilty and ashamed.

Or I’d do a teleconference that seemed to go over really well with the listeners and I’d get off the call and I’d feel really deflated with a pit in my stomach. What the heck was that all about??

As someone who works with energy and resonance I can tell you that these feelings did not help me attract clients. In fact, I’m sure they hindered it.

Then something happened.

During the course of facilitating one of my year-long distance healing proxy group programs my resentment faded and I came to a point of peace within myself. I was then able to allow my husband to be just who he was and to follow his own path, free of wishing things to be different.

Once I did this I stopped being preoccupied with the “problems” in my marriage. And I started to focus on my own business instead of focusing on my husband’s “failings.”  By shifting my perspective and my focus, it allowed my husband to concentrate on his life purpose.

My energy around the situation was totally transformed. I released the family, generational and societal patterns that were playing out in my marriage. It was like a great weight had lifted off of me – and off of my husband.

This opened up the space for both of us to relate to each other and our individual purposes from a higher perspective. Once we accepted the higher purpose of our circumstances our marriage improved.

We could see the divine plan in our situation and how it was giving us both an opportunity to grow.  The higher purpose for me was to come into my own power and express my truth out into the world. The higher purpose for him was to learn how to receive support and stop equating his self-worth with his earning capacity.

After that he felt free to live his true purpose of being a healer and he really started to connect with his guides. And I no longer felt tied up in knots around my business.

My husband started to bring his healing and channeling talents out in to the world. And we even began working together, co-facilitating workshops and doing teleconferences. Now, we both feel very blessed to be able to work together like that.

So if you’re experiencing challenges in your business and you can’t find a solution, take a holistic, holographic approach that factors in the rest of your life, too. You may find the solution lies in your couple’s relationship.

For more on Elizabeth’s excellent Resonance Repatterning work or to book a session, please visit her website at http://liztobin.com