The Self-Healing Self

Jumping from Judgment to Joy

“Judgment kills, Forgiveness heals” Maria Kramer

Maria Kramer

Ah judgment, beloved judgment!  It is the most destructive mental thought process and activity we can choose.   When we constantly find fault with others, we can avoid looking for the causes of the misery and victimization in our own lives.  Judgment is fear with an attitude.

Its incessant prattle creates the ultimate belief in separation:  I am different than my brother, my sister, my God.  I am right and you are wrong.  I am good and you are bad.  This is good and that is bad.  Judgment is a way for the ego to feel empowered, in spite of its real feelings of lack and insecurity.  Every time we judge, every time we invoke shame and guilt upon someone else, we are bringing an equal load of it down upon ourselves.  As satisfying as it may feel at the moment, judgment is an attitude that is totally run by an ego that actually does know that there are better ways to behave.

“Comparison is the death of joy.”  Mark Twain

But the worst and most painful judgments of all are those that we pass upon ourselves.  Self judgments make us feel that, whatever we are, it’s never enough, at least not in comparison to others.  We learn this early on by listening to all the adults and authority voices judging out of their own fears and insecurities.  We become expert judges by default and, in condemning ourselves for our own failures, we are constantly nailing ourselves to crosses of our own making.

Another problem with judgment; every time we find fault with anything or anyone we are totally disconnecting from Love, which is the energy at the very heart of our existence.  This disconnect lowers our vibration dramatically and quickly.  Judgment is the mental attitude that creates most illnesses in our bodies as we tend to hold on to negative, emotional ties to past people, events, belief systems and thought forms.  For most of us, it has become such a habit that we are not even aware that our actions are pinching us off from life-source-energy.

“If you are to awaken you will have to come into balance with the world of duality,
which means you will have to transcend judgment in your life.”  Leonard Jacobson

So how do we transcend judgment and awaken to the joy of our True Beingness?  Well, I have found that there are several keys to the process, all of them simple.  Take them in any order that works for you.

Key # 1 is to become aware that we are judging, and especially if and when we are self-judging.  Without awareness we cannot change a behavior.  Once we become aware that we have slipped into “Judgment Mode,” we can immediately empower a significant change by consciously letting go of just that one instance of judgment.  One step at a time.

Learn to recognize the symptoms of judgment.  If making a judgment on yourself, do you feel despair?  Does your judgment of another make you feel superior, smarter or more “justifiably correct?”  In a sense this is like opening the curtains to let the sun shine into one of the darkest corners of one’s existence, your sense of superiority.

Key # 2 is to become aware of “who” is doing the judging.  As you do, it will become crystal clear what part of you in on duty.  Is the ego serving your soul or is it serving itself?  Whose beliefs have you adapted?  If you are judging others, strive to become aware of just how your judgment might be a projection of your own self-judgments and inadequacies onto others.  Once you catch this thought, you might ask yourself: “What am I judging that is within me, that I have not been able to forgive myself for yet?”

Key # 3 is offering forgiveness – to yourself for passing judgment, as well as to any others who have been part of your training in “judgmentalness.”  In doing so, you cut multiple cords, not only to your own judgments, but also to any ties to all judgmental people and situations of your past.  And this has, as a most beneficial side effect of calling your energy to be present in this moment of Now as forgiveness can only be gained or granted NOW.

Key # 4 is choosing to do something differently to interrupt the pattern of judging.  One simple way is to offer Gratitude.  Should you catch yourself in judgment, acknowledge it and say, “Thank you!  Wow …I just judged again. How amazing is that?”  Make a game out of it.  Gratitude is a most potent healer and empowers us to return to the truth that we are enough and we are full.  It is the easiest way to lift out of any unproductive pattern.  When we recognize and easily offer Gratitude and thanks for all things, people and circumstances in our lives we lift into abundance, peace, love and JOY.  Release the word “should” from your vocabulary.  It is a very energy draining word for it implies doing something we do not want to.  It feeds victimization.  I invite you to replace it with “I choose to…” which is joyful and empowering.

“Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.”  ― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

When we know that judgment disconnects and Joy connects it is easy to make a choice for pure Joy.  Spiritual Joy is a State of Being that is beyond emotions.  It is our natural state in which we are fully connected to Source and our own Divine nature that knows that all is well, beautiful and perfect – just as it is.  Nothing external can rock that boat no matter how turbulent the stormy sea you are sailing on is.  It is surrender to the present moment, feeling fully connected to the constantly expanding All-ness. This deep inner peace lives in total acceptance of All That Is.  In this high vibration of true Joy, we are fully connected, hooked up, to Divine Source.  Here we know that we are eternal and never separate from the Divine Self, that nothing can ever hurt us for we are not identified with the body but our true essence.   We swim in the infinite ocean of unconditional love with all parts of our human Self and all our Brothers and Sisters.

Through JOY we are fully present with what is in the moment.  We are able to see life from a higher prospective and know the amazingly beautiful “play” that this life is.  In Joy we know there is a purpose for everything.  The key to living an awakened life in complete freedom is choosing JOY, and consciously turning away from judgment.  As Mother Theresa said, “Joy is strength.” for there you are impervious to the illusions of fear and judgment.

I invite you to lift yourself into true Joy this week.  When you catch yourself passing a judgment, place a hand to your heart and offer:

“Thank you!  In this moment I choose the Infinite Blessings of Joy instead
of this judgment, I forgive myself for my own self-judgments and those I
have passed on others and I am Grateful for the Grace of Joy.”

Infinite Blessings of Joy,
Maria Kramer