Qualities of Love I

Transformational Love

Emil Toth


All of us have seen how someone in love changes.  He looks at the woman he loves with a gleam in his eye and can’t stop smiling.  A man in love does things for the love in his life to please her.  He wants to be with her every free moment.  Observing him, it is easy to see how love has changed him; all of the signs are there.  We can relate to the changes because we probably have gone through the same thing.  Our hearts beat a little faster and our days seemed a little brighter.

There is another aspect of love that you can experience.  It is its transformational quality, and is far reaching and, at times, disturbing to both you and people in close proximity to you.  Transformational love encompasses the totality of who you are.  For some, it is similar to what a person experiences when they have a near death experience.  It shakes the foundation of their belief in relation to self, mankind, religion, and Creator.  Under the influence of transformational love, the validity of many previous beliefs might be questioned, some could be abandoned, while new beliefs may be acquired.  In many transformations, the only thing held sacred is love.

Transformational love urges you to look at how you interact with individuals.  As it accelerates, it endows you with the ability to make yourself vulnerable, to open your heart, and face people you have inflicted injury upon and ask, even beg, for forgiveness, possibly shedding copious tears during the process.  If the injured person is unable to forgive you, you are still able to walk away, knowing you have left nothing unsaid or undone in your quest for absolution. 

There can be times when you will remember past instances where, perhaps, someone has emotionally injured you.  In the past, you may have hung onto the anger and clung tenaciously to your victimhood.  Now, having an experience of transformational love, you are able to release the anger and pain caused by the incident, knowing full well that they are of no value to you.

On the other side of the coin, when someone approaches you and chooses to appeal for pardon, transformational love allows you to welcome their courage and forgive the person.  It is easily done, for you have dealt with your own past failings and are now able to understand how easy it is to error in heated arguments over issues and jealousies.  With transformational love radiating from you, the issues and jealousies no longer seem important; you see with clarity the other person’s frailties and anger.  You are able to bestow forgiveness, for through such love, you have grown past misunderstandings, judgments and blame.

The moment this precious love envelops you there is an insistence to follow your heart and bring about a shift in how you perceive your existence, your role in life.  It becomes etched in your heart that you can be the instrument of peace.  When your love has reached the transformational point, a desire appears to reach out to family and friends who, perhaps because of anger and resentments, have not seen each other for years, or even decades, and thus being able to bring them together and even guide them to experience forgiveness themselves.

Transformational love yearns to help a person heal relationships gone astray due to limiting beliefs.  You cannot find fault for what someone else cannot understand.  Transformational love seeks ways to bring about acceptance and peace without pressure being applied to the other person.

As transformational love transforms you, it urges you to examine yourself so you can understand why you have done things and helps you see your own self-deceptions.  In love, you feel the pain others have and discover that you have compassion for them and forgive them, and yourself, for any errors committed.

Intelligence, by itself, does not always provide what we need to make the correct choices in life.  It must be yoked with love and experience to bring about Wisdom.  In many cases, it is the Wisdom thereby gained that allows us to make the beneficial choices which moves us along the proper, love infused avenues in life.

Life’s Greatest Lessons

Life’s greatest lessons are encapsulated in love.  The serenity of this love is difficult to disturb.   Love releases you from decisions dictated by others affecting your emotions and circumstances.  If external turmoil, anger, stress and distractions occur, which you cannot alter, you can simply extract yourself from the situation or go to your silent inner core.  You grow in your understanding of what is harmful and what is beneficial for your well being.  Peace of mind and detachment from the outcomes are no longer unobtainable precepts.  In your personal revelation of transformational love, they are in your grasp and achievable. 

Once transformation is set in motion, it sweeps you away.  Nothing is as it was before.  Some people will perceive you as different, some as open-hearted and others will shun you not understanding what has taken hold of you.  As the transformation deepens, what others think of you will not concern you.  You will find yourself thriving on being graced and loved beyond anything you have experienced before.  The trappings of duality waiver in your newly acquired awareness and succumb to the viewpoint that an event is an engaging experience.  The experience outside of duality is present for you to apply transformational love, for your benefit and those involved in the event.

Mistakes are a part of human nature; love has its seat in your spiritual nature.  Love does not set you apart from other aspects of nature, for in nature there is consciousness and consciousness contains various forms of love.  At any level of awareness, love is relatively as rich and glorious as your own.

Transformational love insists that you unmask and vanquish your demons, emphasizing they were nothing more than mistakes and, with gentle persuasion, shows you that they have never defined who you were and who you are.  Love desires you to know yourself in all of your glory, majesty and divinity.  Love defines who you are.

Transformational love may coincide with your need to know the truth of who you are, why you exist and where you came from.  This wonderful and sometimes arduous quest leads you to Creator, who you discover is the source of love, with all its intricate aspects of creativity.